Wake Up, You Sleepy Head!

I can ask either of the bipeds for anything I need, but when they’re both around I have my preferences for different things. If I’m feeling unwell then the female biped is my first choice. I also tell her if I’m concerned about one of the cats, or if someone needs to clean up after them – I think she really appreciates that! I’ll go the male biped if I want a boisterous game in the garden. He’s also my first choice when there’s something unusual that I think could be dangerous and needs checking out.

At night, I like to sleep by the front door because I can easily keep an eye on the whole house from there and make sure everyone is safe. The bipeds usually leave most of the doors open, but I can easily open a door if I need to. They close their bedroom door as they don’t like the cats in the bedroom at night. They say the cats pad about too much and keep them awake.

I don’t often disturb the bipeds at night, I only wake them if it’s something important. I open the bedroom door and go in quietly. I usually wake the female biped. I go to the side of the bed and put my face close to hers. She generally wakes straightaway, pats my neck, and gets up and follows me. I then tell her if I need to go out, or perhaps I show her that one of the cats has been sick. She deals with whatever it is and goes back to bed.

Sleeping cartoon figure

One night recently I needed her to let me out, but I had difficulty waking her. I had to nudge her face with my nose before she started to wake up and then she rolled over away from me! The male biped woke up and wanted to know what was going on.

She said, “Clowie wants something. Could you go?”

He said, “She chose you, otherwise I would!”

The female biped groaned and got up and followed me. She let me out, waited for me to come back in and then went back to bed.

A couple of nights later I was concerned as there were some very strange noises outside, so I went into the bedroom and went to the male biped. I nudged his face with my nose. He snored a bit louder. I nudged him again. He groaned and moved about which woke the female biped up.

She asked him what he was doing.

He replied, “Clowie’s here! Would you see what she wants?”

The female biped said, “I’d love to, but she chose you! It’s probably a security issue – you’re her deputy.”

He said, “Hilarious! But I suppose I asked for that.”

He got out of bed and followed me. He checked the garden with me and listened and he told me there was nothing to worry about. That was because we’d scared it away! We went back indoors and he told me to go to sleep and he went back to bed.

Ever since then they’ve been joking about whose turn it is to get up in the night, as though I wake them all the time! It just happened to be twice in one week. I often go months and months without waking either of them! And my presence means it’s safe for them to sleep soundly. You’d think they’d show more appreciation, but that’s bipeds for you!

See you next Wednesday!


  1. When we had mastiffs, we talked to one of our neighbors who said that our dog had woke them barking the night before. We apologized. He was quick to thank us. He said that our dog so rarely barked, they knew it was important. Awake, he remembered that he’d left his work van unlocked, which had all his tools in it from his home business. He hit the remote-lock button and went back to sleep. The next day, all the neighbors talked about the prowler that had been about that night and things that were missing. Our home, and our next-door-neighbor’s home were undisturbed. Canine security is real! Good job, Clowie, for keeping your home safe inside and out.

    • I’m glad you appreciate the benefits of canine security. I think it’s funny that you didn’t hear your dogs but the neighbour did. Hitting that remote-lock probably saved him a lot of money and inconvenience! A lot of things were stolen from garden sheds in our village one night, but ours was untouched.

      • Yup, canine security can’t be beat! We didn’t hear the dog because our air conditioner was on. The neighbor wasn’t running his air conditioner; he had his windows open. I’m a big believer in canine security. Our parrot also joins the security detail, but only inside. Keep up the good work, Clowie!

  2. HoooOOOOoooWWWWwwwwwLLLLLooooooo Clowie! Many juicy fat chickens to you! Can’t find myself amongst the comments on this one so I think this is where I started missing your posts from. Very enterprising of you to assign different responsibilites to each biped! It’s great that you wake them up in the hour of need and I’m sure they do appreciate it really! Who knows….there might be big fat chickens waiting to be caught outside the front door! 😉

    • It’s lovely to see you, my wolfie pal.
      I don’t think they’d be much help catching chickens! It makes a lot of sense to ask the one that’s best at a particular duty. They should appreciate being woken up because I keep them safe so that they can sleep soundly most nights.

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