Swan or enemy?

I was travelling through the Lake District, North West England, with my bipeds and we decided to take a break and stretch our legs. We stopped by a lake and the male biped said he’d join us soon, but he wanted to rearrange some of the luggage in the car as something was making a noise. I was keen to investigate, so I set off with the female biped.

We made our way down to the shore and strolled along. I found some interesting smells to sniff, but my biped said I should leave it as it was only duck poop – as though I didn’t know what I was sniffing! After about fifteen minutes we began to wonder why the male biped hadn’t caught up with us and we turned back to find out. A strange sight met our eyes!

A swan trying to get food from a person

Crisps aren’t good for you!

The male biped was standing on a rock, keeping his crisps out of reach of a swan! The female biped laughed and took a photograph.

The male biped said, “It isn’t funny! He’s quite aggressive and it hurts when he pecks me!”

When I saw the swan move and peck the biped’s legs, I decided I should go and help. So the female biped decided she needed both hands free to make sure that I didn’t, which meant she couldn’t take any more photographs.

The male biped said, “The swan suddenly appeared and tried to snatch the crisps. I turned and started walking away and then he came at me making a hissing noise, with his wings flapping, so I hopped up here thinking he’d get bored and go away. But that doesn’t seem to be working!”

As he was speaking, another swan came waddling up and joined the first one. Things were getting serious! So I made another attempt to go to his aid, but the female biped told me to wait.

The male biped said, “I think it would be better if you took Clowie back up to the car.”

She said, “Okay, we don’t want a bad situation getting any worse, but what are you going to do?”

The male replied, “I’m thinking about a small distraction and then legging it as fast as I can!”

The female biped asked, “Distraction?”

The male biped waved the packet of crisps and said, “I didn’t want to give him any as he’ll think he can go around mugging people for food, but I can’t think of anything else to do.”

The female said, “He already knows he can mug people for food!”

I wanted to stay to help the male biped, but I walked back up to the road as requested. We saw the male biped make a show of dropping a few crisps on one side of the rock to get the attention of the swans. As soon as they bent over to get the crisps, he hopped down on the other side and started running towards us.

When he reached the steps he paused to look back. He should know that you never look back! Sure enough, the swans had eaten the crisps and were following him. I gave a warning woof and the male biped realised his mistake and ran up the steps, leaving the hissing and flapping swans behind.

Swan on water

Swans look much nicer in the water!
Attribution: By Mihael Grmek (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

The usual reason for a swan to be aggressive is in defence of a nest, but the bipeds said that they weren’t planning to stay and explain to these swans that they shouldn’t be mugging people for food!

See you next Wednesday!

80 Comments

  1. So sorry about the loss of the crisps. I never realized that swans were aggressive! Love the pictures. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Ruffians! Mind you, it’s probably the fault of previous bipeds who have fed the beauties and given them ideas ๐Ÿ™

  3. I enjoyed this story, although it probably was not so enjoyable from the ‘bipeds” perspective ๐Ÿ˜‰
    I also didn’t know that swans could be so aggressive for things other than to protect their young and their territory. It shows why bipeds should not be feeding wild animals… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Thank you. Yes, it’s one of those situations that’s funny afterwards, but not so much at the time! I think that geese and swans can become intimidating in places where they see a lot of bipeds and have come to expect food from them.

  4. OMGoodness! You could’ve put that swan situation away in a flash, C. Too bad you weren’t allowed to help. I hope you got some treats for being so well-behaved.

    Love and licks,
    Cupcake

  5. It’s a good job you were there and wanting to help as all your female biped did was take photos!

  6. Those mean swans. Whee know Mummy isn’t keen on swans or geese since some attacked her and her pawrents on a day out when she was little. Even though it was later discovered they were nesting nearby and probably just protecting their babies, she still can’t stop feeling nervous when she sees them

    xxxx

  7. Well I think those swans are just fans of crisps and could smell them a mile away! On top of that I’m sure they had a nest somewhere close by and were just doing their defensive thing but figured why not ask for a crisp while they were at it! HAHAHA

    Hugs, Sammy

  8. Oh Goodness m Clowie much like Geese they can get a little..well…full on! your dad looks like a statue on that rock …I did laugh at the poop comment..duh! of course YOU knew it was poop..that’s the allure..and funny when you said Distraction…well my last piece for my school work in photography I finished yesterday and I titled it Distraction…it strangely features no swans ๐Ÿ™‚ much loves Fozziemum xxx

  9. Your bipeds do have a hard time between you and the birdlife! lol It certainly didn’t look like those swans were taking no for an answer!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  10. I so agree with your male biped. They look white and innocent but their soul is as black as the black painted door of the Rolling Stones. My momma got a shiner once as a swan hit her with his wings. And it’s true it really hurts when they peck you. She only stands at a pond while her dad would take a photo with the swans and suddenly one of them tried to eat my poor momma. They are probably related with the monster of Loch Ness :o(

  11. They can be real mean when they want something. We have Canadian Geese that are even more nasty and can really hurt someone if you bother them.

  12. swans and white geese can be great protectors of property

  13. I so lovely that your female biped took photos rather than rushing to his aid – it’s just what I would have done!!

  14. The female said, โ€œHe already knows he can mug people for food!โ€ That sounds about right. What an adventure. We have an Emu (two of them next door) but one of them, Sweetpea, was the nicest baby and then something changed. Now she pecks at everyone in fence range. She pecked the diamond earring of a woman passing by a while ago. No luck in finding it when the movement moved it. Your post reminded me of this. Big cyber hug to you and your bipeds from all of us. <3

    • Emus are much bigger – it can’t be much fun to be pecked by one! I think they can run really fast as well, so not much chance of escaping easily! Have a great day tomorrow!

  15. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! OMD! This was hilarious!!! Attack of the swans! I can just see it being the next big movie or something BOL!!! Sorry for laughing, I am very glad everyone is ok, but I mean, come on! Too funny!
    แƒฆ husky hugz แƒฆ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

  16. I’m just curious why your bi-ped didn’t let you bark at the geese. I don’t think they would come after you. You are a big dog and noisy when you bark. Maybe it’s the escalation she was trying to prevent. It does make a funny story.

    • My bipeds didn’t think the birds were going to be easily scared and didn’t want the situation to escalate. It isn’t every day you see a male biped running away from birds!

  17. This is why people really shouldn’t feed wildlifeโ€”especially food that isn’t healthy for them! I bet those swans would have “ducked” for cover, though, if you’d been allowed to help your biped. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Yes, they come to expect it and some of the things they’re fed are really not good for them. Ha, I think I could have easily scared them. You’ve just reminded me of the sign in an old pub near one place we lived. It was on a very low beam – duck or grouse! Lots of people ended up grousing!

  18. Swans and Canada geese.. they mean business. I am trying not to laugh at your male biped but I am losing the battle.

  19. I have heard that swans can be very mean, and it sounds like that is definitely true! Glad your male biped came up with a plan and was able to get out of there. Good thing you gave him that warning about looking back too!

  20. So glad your Dad survived the evil swans Clowie ๐Ÿ™‚

  21. This was not as Tchaikovsky envisioned it.

  22. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family, Clowie ๐Ÿ™‚

  23. WOW! Ok, so the human laughed!! But swans can be very aggressive. I think your biped did the only thing possible!!

  24. Thanks for the giggle. Swans will attack and it’s not funny when you’re running away in terror.
    (How were we supposed to know a nest was there?) Such noise and anger out of something so softy and fluffy looking in the water.

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