This happened when we lived in a small village in England. One morning, at dawn, I noticed some rabbits on the front lawn. I barked a warning because they weren’t wild rabbits and I thought that some bipeds in the village were probably worried about them. One of my bipeds came to see what I was telling them. He was very surprised to see such big, fluffy bunnies on the lawn. He opened the front door, but all the rabbits hopped away.
Later that day my bipeds started asking if anyone had lost any rabbits. A number of people said that they were annoyed about rabbits eating their flowers and lettuces. The next morning, I barked to say the bunnies were back again. My bipeds asked a few more people in the village and were told the rabbits belonged to the man living almost opposite, we called him the tall guy. My male biped went to speak to him.
MB (My Biped): Some black and white rabbits are on the loose, I hear they belong to you.
TG (Tall Guy): They’re not my rabbits, I don’t know why people are saying they are!
MB: Oh, I’m sorry! Do you know who they do belong to?
TG: They don’t belong to anyone.
MB: They must have escaped from somewhere, they are not wild rabbits.
TG: They are the offspring of my rabbits.
MB: The offspring of your rabbits? Doesn’t that make them your rabbits?
TG: No, some children let my rabbits out of their hutches. The rabbits wandered off and bred and it’s their offspring wandering about the village.
MB: Which children entered your garden and let your rabbits out?
TG: Village children.
MB: Yes, but which ones?
TG: Well… my children.
MB: Oh, okay. Your children let your rabbits out of your hutches and your rabbits hopped away and had baby rabbits, but those baby rabbits are not yours?”
TG: That’s right, but people keep saying they belong to me and expect me to do something about them.
MB: So if someone wants to give the rabbits a home, you have no objection?
TG: I’ve already said they’re nothing to do with me!
My bipeds talked to some of our other neighbours and they all said things like “unbelievable”, “irresponsible”, and a few other words I mustn’t repeat where they could be seen by underage puppies! Then they all asked around and found there were a few families who would like to give a home to a disowned rabbit. It only remained to work out how to catch the rabbits – they were a lot faster than they looked.
One of our friends had some humane traps and he came and helped set them on our lawn. He then said that there was an easier way to catch rabbits. He said that if you put some pepper on a lettuce leaf and place the lettuce on a rock, you catch the rabbits. My bipeds asked how that works and he said that rabbits can’t resist lettuce, but the pepper makes them sneeze so hard they knock themselves out on the rock! Then you can just pick the bunny up and take it to its new home and wait for it to regain consciousness. My bipeds laughed and said they’d stick to the plan with the traps.
Early the next morning I barked loudly to tell my bipeds that the first stage of our plan had worked – we had caught two rabbits! My bipeds were pleased. Later that day we took the rabbits to their new homes. The same thing happened the next two mornings!
It all ended happily, the rabbits had new homes and some families in the village were very happy to have bunnies to look after. My bipeds were pleased to be able to sleep until the alarm clock woke them. Even the tall guy was happy because he stopped getting complaints about his rabbits, or their offspring, eating vegetable patches!
See you next Wednesday!