A few weeks ago, I did my last perimeter checks before bed extra carefully as the male biped was away. Then I settled down for the night in my usual spot. I like to stretch out across the front door. It’s easy to keep an eye on the whole household from there and it has the advantage of stopping anyone entering the house that way.
I woke up a few hours later, as I’d heard a familiar car. I got to my paws and listened carefully. I was right! The male biped had come home. I’m usually very quiet about welcoming my bipeds home. This was an exception – I was excited as I hadn’t expected him to arrive during the night, so I made a few welcoming sounds.
As he opened the door, he whispered, “Shh, we don’t want to wake anyone.”
I backed away from the door so that he could get in. My wagging tail came in contact with the cupboard and made a sound like a big bass drum – thump, thump, thump.
He put his bag down and closed the door. He bent down to make a fuss of me.
A moment later, the female biped appeared and asked, “Have you caught an intruder, Clowie?”
The male biped replied, “You haven’t got a weapon, have you? I thought I’d be safe coming home unexpectedly with Clowie on guard duty.”
That didn’t make any sense! But they laughed and the cats seemed to find it amusing as well. The bipeds went to bed and I asked the cats about it. They were a bit smug about knowing something that I didn’t, but agreed to tell me. They said that this tale has been passed from cat to cat.
It happened before I was even born, when the bipeds were first married and living in a sprawling bungalow. The female biped had the day off work and had been busy decorating. In the middle of the afternoon she packed away the paint and brushes and she went to take a shower. When she finished her shower and turned it off, she heard a noise in another part of the building.
She put on a dressing gown and tiptoed out of the bathroom. The phone was at the other end of the bungalow where the noises were coming from, so she went to the kitchen which was in the middle. She picked up a cast iron pan and stood behind the kitchen door listening to the footsteps.
The footsteps came closer and the door started to move. She took a firm grip on the heavy skillet, preparing to swing it at the intruder. She realised in time that the person coming through the door was the male biped. He had finished work early and thought he would surprise her!
I don’t really know how close she was to whacking the male biped on the head, but it goes to show how strange bipeds are. He couldn’t find her when he should have heard the shower running. And she couldn’t tell who was walking about the place. I don’t know how they cope. It’s a good thing that I’m in charge of security now – everyone’s a lot safer!
I’ll be away with the bipeds for the next few weeks. I’m not sure where we’re going, but I’m sure I’ll have fun!
See you when I get back!