In the Middle of the Night

A few weeks ago, I did my last perimeter checks before bed extra carefully as the male biped was away. Then I settled down for the night in my usual spot. I like to stretch out across the front door. It’s easy to keep an eye on the whole household from there and it has the advantage of stopping anyone entering the house that way.

I woke up a few hours later, as I’d heard a familiar car. I got to my paws and listened carefully. I was right! The male biped had come home. I’m usually very quiet about welcoming my bipeds home. This was an exception – I was excited as I hadn’t expected him to arrive during the night, so I made a few welcoming sounds.

As he opened the door, he whispered, “Shh, we don’t want to wake anyone.”

I backed away from the door so that he could get in. My wagging tail came in contact with the cupboard and made a sound like a big bass drum – thump, thump, thump.


He put his bag down and closed the door. He bent down to make a fuss of me.

A moment later, the female biped appeared and asked, “Have you caught an intruder, Clowie?”

The male biped replied, “You haven’t got a weapon, have you? I thought I’d be safe coming home unexpectedly with Clowie on guard duty.”

That didn’t make any sense! But they laughed and the cats seemed to find it amusing as well. The bipeds went to bed and I asked the cats about it. They were a bit smug about knowing something that I didn’t, but agreed to tell me. They said that this tale has been passed from cat to cat.

It happened before I was even born, when the bipeds were first married and living in a sprawling bungalow. The female biped had the day off work and had been busy decorating. In the middle of the afternoon she packed away the paint and brushes and she went to take a shower. When she finished her shower and turned it off, she heard a noise in another part of the building.

She put on a dressing gown and tiptoed out of the bathroom. The phone was at the other end of the bungalow where the noises were coming from, so she went to the kitchen which was in the middle. She picked up a cast iron pan and stood behind the kitchen door listening to the footsteps.

The footsteps came closer and the door started to move. She took a firm grip on the heavy skillet, preparing to swing it at the intruder. She realised in time that the person coming through the door was the male biped. He had finished work early and thought he would surprise her!

cast iron pan, skillet

Mind your head!

I don’t really know how close she was to whacking the male biped on the head, but it goes to show how strange bipeds are. He couldn’t find her when he should have heard the shower running. And she couldn’t tell who was walking about the place. I don’t know how they cope. It’s a good thing that I’m in charge of security now – everyone’s a lot safer!

Aqua paw print


I’ll be away with the bipeds for the next few weeks. I’m not sure where we’re going, but I’m sure I’ll have fun!

See you when I get back!




  1. I don’t know about you. How can one person be so wonderful. I know, I know, your the biped, and Clowie and the cats are the stars. But still, how can one person be so wonderful?
    Have a wonderful trip.
    cindy knoke recently posted…Wild Eyes~My Profile

  2. oh wow… imagine that… I bet that would end with a big bump on your bipeds head… or with a skillet-anesthesia :o) my momma grabbed the scattergun once as she hear weird noises in the attic room and while she tried to charge that friggin shooting iron she caught her finger so badly that she howled like an air raid siren, so the hypothetically intruder disappeared to nowhere …whatever it was, it ran away with earaches, that’s for sure :o)

    • Our bipeds do the strangest things, Easy! It’s a good thing they have us to look after them.
      It sounds as though your momma did a good job of scaring that intruder away though!

  3. That story could’ve had a VERY different ending! You are much more reliable than either of them alone, C. Keep up the good work.

    Love and licks,
    Cupcake recently posted…HappinessMy Profile

  4. My mom is a fraidy cat too when it comes to strange noises, but she always checks us pets to see if we are bothered or not. If we are looking interested, she gets nervous, if we don’t care, she trusts it is nothing. Happy vacation!
    Emma recently posted…Buffalo Ears Roam At Emma’s Home {Giveaway}My Profile

  5. We have had a few of those situations! Always funny later but a but tense until all sorted out! Have a wonderful vacation, Clowie!

  6. Have fun on your little vacation Clowie!!!!! I’m glad the male biped still has his brains where they should be! EEEK!

    Hugs, Sammy
    Sammy recently posted…Teaser Tell AllMy Profile

    • Thank you, Sammy, I’m sure I’ll have fun.
      I don’t know how the bipeds managed before they had me to look after them!

  7. Oh my goodness, Clowie. What an adventure and close call. We couldn’t help BOLing over that drum sound description. And we all know that you are the security! wag wag wag
    Paulette Mahurin recently posted…To Live Out Loud Paperback is outMy Profile

    • Things are much safer with me being in charge of security. They sometimes tell me that my tail makes too much noise, but it has a mind of its own!

  8. That big drum sound! I certainly recognise that!
    Sounds as if you could have saved the make biped a natty one on the bonce!

    • Yes, it’s nice to hear a happy tail!
      I don’t think the male biped would have risked coming home unannounced without me about!

  9. Well between the female biped and you Clowie, I think you guys are well protected!!! LOL!!! Hope you have a great trip!!!!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!
    Jenna,Mark “HuskyCrazed” Drady recently posted…Healing Paws – Everything Has a PurposeMy Profile

  10. What an adventure! Perimeter checks, in Earl’s opinion, are always paramount.
    Earl Lover recently posted…Has The Monster Gone?My Profile

  11. Hahaha! Your daddy sure was lucky your mummy didn’t swing sooner!
    Misaki recently posted…WW: I’ll take this one thanksMy Profile

  12. Clowie, it’s pretty good the female biped was a bit slow!! It could have been a whole different story! *shudders*

    It’s a good job they have you around now!! Have a great vacation. I hope you have adventures! xxxx
    Austin Towers recently posted…Cat Adoption Event this Saturday!My Profile

    • It’s much safer with me in charge of security! You can see why it’s a full time job looking after them, Austin.
      Thank you, I’m sure I’ll have some fun adventures.

  13. Really must remember not to get on the wrong side of your female biped Clowie! That skillet is enough to make even the bravest icewolf quake over her liver cake and run off like a headless chicken. …chicken. ..chick…oh no! Now look what’s happens! It’s definitely much safer for you to be in charge of security☺Have a lovely holiday and look forward to your safe return 🙂 Wolfie hugs!
    Europa’s Icewolf recently posted…The Ice Wolf of EuropaMy Profile

    • There’s no doubt at all that it’s much safer with me in charge of security. I don’t know how they survived before me!
      Thank you, I’m sure I’ll have a lovely time. See you when I get back!

  14. Both Newfs recognize our cars as soon as they turn on the drive so the is never a sound when one of us comes home day or night. That means if we hear someone come in and they are quiet we don’ have to worry. Hope you have a great Vacation can’t wait to here where you went.
    tylersat99 recently posted…Wordless Wednesday – TwoMy Profile

    • It sounds as though the Newfs do an excellent job of keeping an eye on things.
      Thank you, I’m looking forward to my holiday.

  15. I’m glad you female biped had the fortitude and intelligence to be prepared to face an intruder! If only we bipeds had your keen sense of smell—they would have known exactly who was where. 🙂

    Have a great trip!
    jmmcdowell recently posted…More Summer Musings — Because It Is Still Summer HereMy Profile

    • It must be tricky being a biped and not being able to tell who is where!
      Thank you, I’ll have fun whatever we’re doing.

  16. I am sure that Clowie provides superb security!

  17. So relieved you’re there to look after them Clowie! Once came home to find a dining chair in the middle of the hall. Very worried. Turns out it was Edgar, our now senior cat, who’d got his head caught in a paper carrier bag handle and careened round the house trying to get it off – leaving a trail of destruction in his wake 😉
    Animalcouriers recently posted…Young ospreys travel from Scotland to Spain and SwitzerlandMy Profile

    • I don’t know how they survived without me! It’s a full time job looking after them.
      You don’t expect cats to move the furniture while you’re out! I can see why that was worrying. It’s amazing how much chaos cats can create!

  18. Whoa, you definitely saved someone from having a very sore noggin! Enjoy your holiday!
    Jan K recently posted…Luke is Going Back to “School” – #52SnapshotsMy Profile

  19. thank goodness they have you Clowie!!! I am sure you have saved your Dad from many a bonk in the head 🙂 Hope you have a great vacation!

  20. Great story, Clowie. Those bipeds of yours are so lucky you are on the job! Have a wonderful holiday.
    Sue recently posted…Goodbye Love Song for a Dog | Dog Song SaturdayMy Profile

  21. Aurora Jean Alexander

    I love the story, Clowie. It made me giggle. Thanks to the cats we all had fun. 😉
    Have a great holiday!

  22. Hi Clowie – I’ve missed your blog. Nice to see what’s been going on with you. Wish you were here to guard me from my bully pain in the hind rescued brother monkey. He takes my bed, my food, everything.


  23. From a cast iron skillet to Clowie. They definitely upgraded their security my furry friend. Bipeds can be funny creatures. Far more strange than doggies who are normal and sensible. Our dog Lexi watches the house while we sleep while our cat, Peachy watches us. Sometimes I’ll wake up to find Peachy just staring at me. My eyes go strange as I say. “What are you doing Peachy? Go to sleep.” Then I look over at Lexi who shakes her head as if to say… “And you think I’ve got problems.” All’s fair in dog/cat personalities though. We balance each other. lol Luv the post, sharing it now. 😉 xoxo
    Inion N. Mathair recently posted…Surprise-Surprise!!! And the Winner is…..My Profile

    • Their old security system was a nightmare – I’m surprised they survived! I’m glad Lexi keeps an eye on things and keeps you safe at night.
      Cats have a way of staring so even bipeds sense it’s happening!

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